Behaviour · Declutter · Home · Humour

I have a secret…

It isn’t something which I’m proud of. I don’t think it’s something which I’ve ever confided to anyone, in fact, I’ve only recently admitted it to myself. Ok, so here goes, MY NAME IS HELEN AND I AM A HOARDER!! There, I’ve said it. Should I be feeling better now that I’ve got it out in the open?

There is a constant battle going on inside my head. On one side is the part which craves calm, order, a minimalist zen… I dream of clear surfaces, organised cupboards, a clutter free home. On the other side though, oh boy!  The voice which demands ‘no Helen, you can’t get rid of that! You might be able to use it for something amazing!’  Or ‘good God, woman, you couldn’t possibly throw that away!’ Or my personal favourite: ‘you know, you really could do with some more scented candles/trinkets/things which look pretty but serve no purpose!’

I recently came across a quote: “Our possessions are dictating our free time. Sundays used to be for relaxing and eating, and now they’re spent cleaning the garage…” How poignant and accurate is that? Of course, my ‘hoarder’ side revels in pointing out that it doesn’t apply to me as we don’t have a garage… However, you get the jist…

My husband thinks that I’m a slave to the advertisers. He jokes that if an item is labelled as ‘NEW’, then I’ll buy it. (More often than not he’s right – but how am I expected to know if I like something if I don’t try it?!) I applaud the advertisers who succeed in making me believe that I really need to part with my hard-earned cash for that pair of ‘Picnic Pants’, I mean, how did I ever manage without them?

Revolutionising alfresco dining the whole world over…

Or how about that other little gem, the snowball maker? What did we do before this genius invention hit our radar? Long gone are the days where we had to rely on our own hands to mould , press and shape the cold little blighter’s ourselves. Three cheers for the Snowball Maker! Hip-hip Hooray…!

Yay-no more chilblains!!

Ok, so I may be exaggerating just a tad. I’m no dimwit when it comes making purchases. Neither am I foolhardy and free at splashing the cash. Which is where another of my downfalls come into play. I cannot resist a bargain…

I recently tried to adopt a mantra. I decided that, if I was out and spotted the deal of the century, I would repeat (in my head-while breathing in through the nose and out through the mouth) ‘It is not a bargain if I do not need it, It is not a bargain if I do not need it…’ Unfortunately for me, it’s quite crowded in that head of mine (note paragraph 2), so trying to make sense of the three voices (all shouting for competition to be heard) while trying to focus on breathing in through the nose and out through the mouth proved to be a bit too much. After getting home (still in a bit of a tizz) I found that I’d somehow managed to purchase 3 scented candles, a tub of Shake ‘n’ Vac (we have wooden flooring…), 2 packs of fairy lights and a squeaky dog toy (we don’t have any pets…) Like I said, I can’t resist a bargain…

So is there any hope for me? I’d like to think so, I really do. I believe I’ve made some progress lately. All the ‘things’ which I can’t bear to get rid of, the ‘bargains’, the mason jars that I will ‘definitely use one day’, the fabric which ‘I will definitely use for something’, has all been lovingly stored in pretty boxes. That way it looks neat and organised, while hiding the monstrous mess inside. I can rest assured that my ‘treasures’ are safe, ready for me to use ‘when I get a chance’, to utilise them into something special and put them to good use. Unless I forget about them. And end up buying them all over again because I can’t remember storing them. Which is a definite possibility – my memory isn’t the best, simply because my head is filled with those other little buggers. Oh dear…

Does this problem sound familiar to you? Are you locked in a constant battle between zen and chaos? If so, please feel free to comment or drop me a line – if you have any advice for my condition I’d be grateful for any offers of help! Muchos gracias…

 

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